I'm really posting this to see if I have justification for lying, or if there is a better way to handle situations like this without "lying". Noah and I were coming out of PetSmart yesterday (more fish supplies), when this man (roughly 30) approached us holding a gas can. "Excuse me, Miss, do you have a few dollars I can have to buy gas for my car? It is the White Dodge Stratus parked over there." He pointed across the parking lot, but I saw no Dodge Stratus, let alone any white cars (but I could have missed it.) I said, "Sorry, I don't have any more cash." Obviously a lie since I was on my way to Aldi. He said, "Okay, thanks" and walked back up to the door of the pet store.
As I was on my way to Aldi, less than one mile away, I passed two gas stations. I thought, "Why would someone stand outside of a pet store asking for money, rather than walk the not-even-half-mile to the gas station and ask people there?" I feel bad for lying, but I find people's logic in stuff like that a little odd. The weird thing was, this happened to me around the same time of day about two weeks prior in the Aldi/Bread Store parking lot.
Noah and I were leaving the bread store when a man and "his daughter" approached us asking for money. They said they hadn't eaten in two days. Hmmmm... appearance wise they certainly did not appear to have missed any meals. Not to be mean, but they were both quite hefty. I told them they should go into the bread store and see if they had any leftover bread. (The bread store I shop at is an Entenmann/Arnold/Thomas outlet. The bread is $1.00/loaf, and I am sure they toss or take what doesn't sell to a food pantry.) Anyway, they ignored me, and just kept walking up to people asking for money.
So, that is my story for the day. Was it okay to lie to that guy with the gas can? Is there a better way to handle it? I didn't want to do anything to jeopardize my or our kids' safety. I didn't feel "threatened", but you just never know... I guess should start carrying my Taser more often.
15 years ago
2 comments:
I don't think that is the right venue to be helping people, and I would not be comfortable pulling out my wallet, regardless. If you are uncomfortable with the 'lie', then just rephrase. "I'm sorry, I can't help you today". I have been in situations where I am unsure, but I know I am not going to hand over money, and I will offer to go inside and buy a loaf of bread. I bought a guy a coat at Target once, but I wasn't going to give him cash. I think that as long as you support those in need in a manner in which you are comfortable (via church or other organizations), then you are doing your part.
I think what you did was OK. I feel that giving them cash is only enabling them. Who's to say they won't go inside and buy cigarettes or a bag of chips with the money. I'd much rather direct them to a shelter or to someone I know is needing some odd jobs done so that they can earn their own money and work for themselves. As long as they can get a handout, they won't go and stand on their own feet.
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