I admit it. I was wrong. Miss USA didn't win the Miss Universe Pageant. Am I embarrassed? No. What is embarrassing is that she didn't even place in the top 15! Has that ever happened? Actually it has, but it is
very unusual. Maybe that fasting for Ramadan took its toll on her.
Anyway, I thought overall the pageant was fairly entertaining. John Legend. Good. Hair styling tips and product advice. Good. Bret Michaels was acting like a 12 year old boy. Can you bring Bob Barker back, please??!!!??
Let's jump to the Final Five, but before I do, I have to say one thing to Miss Puerto Rico. Who picked out that Pepto pink evening gown with the bigger than ginormous bow on it? Ugh! That was why she didn't get top 5.
Top Five Final Question Breakdown
Question: How is unsupervised internet usage affecting teenagers?
Miss Mexico- (needs a translator) Blah blah blah porque blah blah que blah blah bueno momento blah blah (take a breath chicky, the translator can't keep up)
Don't know what she said even after it was translated, but she didn't answer the question. Judge Evan Lysecek had a dumbfounded look on his face when she finished. Apparently, it didn't matter. Kudos to me for also suggesting Miss Mexico had a chance to win.

Question: Something about countries passing laws about banning certain religious clothing
Miss Australia- (love the Aussie accent) Fashion is a freedom of choice and should not be controlled by the government. She also gave a plug to the swimsuit designer.
I thought the judges would have liked that a bit more than they did.
Question: Is the death penalty okay?
Miss Jamaica- Life was given to us by our Creator, God, and the only one who should decide is God, the one who created us.
When the judges are 90% Hollywood people who change religions faster than they change their underwear, mentioning we only have one God could have cost her the crown. They were looking for more of the "No, that is cruel and unusual punishment and Charles Manson should be freed immediately" type of answer.
Question: Do you think it is okay for airports to use full body security scanners?
Miss Ukraine- It's a matter of safety and security. If it will prevent future tragedies like the ones we have in the past, then I am for it.
So am I Miss Ukraine, unfortunately for you, most of the judges probably donate to the ACLU who are trying to have them banned.
Question: What is the biggest mistake you have made?
Miss Phillipines- I'm sorry, sir. I was raised well and don't think I have ever made a mistake.
What? That's a fast track to last place answer if I ever heard one. Couldn't you come up with something? Anything? Maybe, I ate a whole pumpkin pie once as a kid and puked my guts out so now I never eat pumpkin pie. (No, I didn't do that, but I know who did.)